


The Nightmare Is Gone

by SkyleSkaetLett



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime), Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Diamond & Pearl & Platinum | Pokemon Diamond Pearl Platinum Versions
Genre: 5 Stages of Grief, Anger, Death, Denial, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Other, hope you're all ready for it, i started crying at work while i was secretly writing this, pretty much just general suffering tbh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-08 23:49:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6880528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyleSkaetLett/pseuds/SkyleSkaetLett
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tobias loses a dear friend, and doesn't know how to deal with it at all - Darkrai is dead, and there's nothing he can do about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Nightmare Is Gone

**Author's Note:**

> hello  
> it’s me  
> your favorite harbinger of suffering  
> this is kind of like a spiritual brother to my other fic, The Bonds That Heal Us. This one's based off of Sinnohlove’s (sinnohlove.tumblr.com) headcanons about Tobias which were lit  
> man isn’t having a side character as your fav fun??? you gotta create your own material always  
> anyways welcome to tobias & darkrai hell, have fun in e t e r n a l p a i n B)

Tobias couldn’t believe it.

His partner, the one who stayed by him the longest through all the hardships and fights, was gone in an instant. As Tobias looked down to the fallen Darkrai, his eyes wide open in shock, he could feel his feet collapsing from under him. He fell to the ground over his ace. The noise of the rest of the world were blocked out - as if he were trapped in a white box, the sounds like static and the people like shadows. This couldn’t be happening. No, this couldn’t be happening. Not like this, not this sudden, not after everything.

Tobias knew something was off when the Harbinger of Nightmares was able to stop his, and prevent them for the past 10 years. They gave a breathy whisper of an explanation of how Tobias’ nightmares had been so bad, that they both wanted them to stop. They wanted it so bad that Tobias subconsciously pushed away the knowledge that it was hurting Darkrai. But now it was coming back to hit him. The damage was too much, and Darkrai suddenly collapsed in the middle of the street, floating down and closing their eyes, their breathing slowing, and slowing before it became to a stop. He tried to talk to them, to get them to say anything - but nothing came.

He didn’t even get to say goodbye.

He never really thought about how much losing Darkrai would affect him. Maybe he pushed it away - their bond was so strong that Tobias pushed away any fears of them leaving, or disappearing, or - or _dying_. They’d always fought together, went along everywhere together, and helped each other. Tobias didn’t even want to think about losing that. On the same line, he didn’t think about what he’d do if he lost them. Or how he’d feel.

At first, he was surprised by how he was affected. But then it made total sense.

The first ring of pain and realization came almost dreamlike. He felt detached from it, and for a few seconds, the world didn’t exist. It didn’t feel real. It couldn’t be real, it had to be a dream, a bad dream, a nightmare. He was asleep and Darkrai forgot to prevent his nightmares from coming back, or something, or anything other than this.

Eventually, Tobias began coming back to the real world, and the static of the voices around him became more audible. They sounded concerned, and there were a lot around him. There were people standing over the fallen, distressed man and his Pokemon. It annoyed him. It infuriated him. Even though they were concerned and worried for his sake, it felt fake, it felt like he was only there because there was a scene.

“Sir, are you okay?” one voice, a middle aged man most likely, asked with what was probably faux worry in his voice. “Is everything okay?”

Tobias felt the rage rising like a tidal wave. He didn’t bother trying to control it, but even if he did, he couldn’t.

“Am I _okay_? No, I am NOT okay!” he lashed out, standing up. He could feel his legs giving out again, but he would _not_ collapse again. He would not show weakness when he was so angry. “I - I can’t - my Pokemon is… is… I - I…” he shouted. The words didn’t feel real as they came out. Tears began to emerge in his eyes, and he didn’t feel any need to hold them back. He couldn’t. He wasn’t an Official League Trainer, he was just a trainer who happened to be the strongest.

Of course, the onlookers didn’t expect him to lash out. No one could have predicted it. Sure, everyone knew Tobias was a bit impatient in the rare occasion he was struggling during battle, but otherwise he was very calm and collected, and down to Earth. This was something entirely different that no one could have seen coming - though of course, _he_ didn’t see this coming either.

He grabbed Darkrai by the shoulders, pulling them up tenderly shaking them back and forth in an attempt to get a response. By now there was a huge crowd forming around him. He could have sworn he heard someone say something along the lines of ‘oh hey, isn’t that Tobias?’ before being dragged away by someone who probably knew the concept of empathy a bit better.

He heard another voice next - another man’s, but probably a bit younger. “Everything’s going to be okay,” they said flatly, and Tobias could immediately tell the fake sympathy Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder that was meant to be reassuring and wasn’t, startling him _and_ only angering him further. “You’re going to be ok--”

“Let go of me!” he yelled, standing up and taking on a defensive pose. “Don’t - don’t touch me!” Now he really wasn’t holding back his emotions - after all, who could control such intense feelings? The crowd pushed back a bit with varying expressions on their faces - some in shock, some in sadness, some in misunderstanding or even disgust that Tobias would verbally lash out at someone who (somewhat) tried to help.

He felt hope for a better ending giving out, but no! He couldn’t let Darkrai die! Not like this!

He looked up. He had to do something, desperately. He had to do anything. Something could help them - yes, the Pokemon Center, they would probably have some suggestions! A sense of false hope filled him. He _knew_ Darkrai was dead. He knew that they weren’t coming back. But he felt he had to make sure.

He tried to return Darkrai to their Pokeball. The ray of red hit them, but didn’t bring them back. He tried again. Nothing. Groaning out of frustration and disbelief, he elected to simply carry Darkrai to the nearest center. He knew they were going to get looks and stares, and attempts to stop them, but he didn’t care. Not now, especially, but he never really did. Being a world-famous League trainer, he was used to attention, and used to avoiding it for his own well-being.

He’s not trained to deal with this.

Eventually, he made it to the Pokemon Center, still clutching Darkrai firmly in his arms. Rushing into the center, he made his way past (and almost shoved) everyone out of his way as he ran over to the Nurse Joy at the center. All eyes were on him, but he didn’t have time to care about that.

“Nurse Joy, can you - can you please take my Pokemon?”

The Nurse looked startled, jumping back a bit. Tobias wasn’t sure if it was because he had a Darkrai, or because he burst into the center.

“I-I’m, sorry, what’s, is, is that a Darkrai? I, we’re not really -” she bit her lip nervously, suddenly in a panic as she looked around worriedly. “We don’t really - really know how to deal with… and this Pokemon, they aren’t even breathing, I’m certain there’s nothing I--”

“I don’t care!” Tobias shouted. A moment of silence passed, and the phase of sorrow was beginning to sink in. An overwhelming sense of dread filled him head to toe, though hitting him hard in the chest. The world was beginning to seem silent to him, as the nurse quietly looked at the hunched over man in worry.

“I… don’t care. Just do something. Anything,” he said quietly. “Anything you can do. Just try. Please.”

A moment after she saw his pleading, the nurse silently nodded, taking the Pitch-Black Pokemon gently from him and placing them on an emergency cart. Tobias looked forlorn as his prized Pokemon - his _partner_ was carried away from him.

He wanted, so badly, to have them back, to have this only be a scare and have it be over. Have them back, have them back by his side. He barely noticed he was standing in the middle of the hall with his head cast down, and eyes wide open to the size of planets, looking absolutely empty in depth.

“Sir? Do you need a place to stay for tonight…?”

He lifted his head slowly to see the nurse greeting him. He didn’t have the energy to reply verbally, but closed his eyes as if giving an affirmative answer.

“There’s a hotel in the Center. It’s free to anyone who happens to have a Pokemon here overnight. So, um…”

She trailed off, a moment of awkward silence hanging over the two as she saw the utter pain and sorrow in his eyes. Tobias forced himself to nod and turned around. He slowly walked the other way, looking back down the hall they took Darkrai down.

The second ring of pain was much, much worse than the first. The reality of what was happening hit him, and hit him _hard_.

A part of him knew, deep, deep down that it _wasn’t_ going to be okay. But just like he didn’t want to think about Darkrai getting hurt by preventing his nightmares, he didn’t want to think about that, either. Tobias was never one for praying. He always gave thanks to Arceus, especially after challenging battles, and especially after difficult trials. He never felt the need to pray, since his luck got him out of most situations. Tonight, he was sure to do a lot of praying, hoping that Arceus, maybe, would have a bit of mercy in their heart.

The hotel room reminded him a lot of the Harbor Inn - small, old, and honestly seemed kind of haunting in a similar way. The one in Canalave City where he, in an attempt to explore more areas, broke into, and fell into a deep, deep sleep, taken to Newmoon Island shortly after. He didn’t have any Pokemon when he met Darkrai, he was just a naive teenager who wanted to go exploring, and was curious about the rumors surrounding the inn. Darkrai took mercy on this, and Tobias exchanged the mercy, after hearing about how Darkrai was banished there for unintentionally causing nightmares. It was depressing to him - this innocent Pokemon who didn’t _want_ to do anything wrong was subjected to powers they couldn’t control. Tobias had nothing to do, so he spent days on Newmoon Island, coming back into the inn and out to go back home as needed. Eventually, the two got close enough that Tobias convinced Darkrai to leave the island and come with him, and Darkrai convinced Tobias to go out into the world and do something fun with his life.

Tobias had always struggled with nightmares, and while this made him bonding with the nightmare Pokemon easier, it definitely was a trial for him to sleep each night. He hated fear more than anything. He hated the feeling of being powerless and having no one to help him. Most of the times, he wouldn’t even bother going back to sleep after having an episode, which was just about every night, so sleep wasn’t a huge thing for him.

Darkrai, seeing how much this affected their trainer, found a way to work their power to make sure Tobias didn’t have nightmares, thus minimizing his fear: to use their power to cancel the nightmares out. They tried this one night… and Tobias woke up, feeling refreshed, feeling calmer and even happier than usual. As soon as Tobias found out Darkrai was helping him, he vowed to do everything he could to protect, help, and empower Darkrai (hence why they took on the Sinnoh League Challenge). Darkrai and Tobias both knew, deep down, that it was detrimental for the Pokemon - after all, they weren’t getting food, they weren’t living in their natural habitat. But Darkrai wanted Tobias to be happy. So they hid how much it was affecting them in an effort to make Tobias not worry.

Tobias was sure as hell worried now, and he wasn’t able to fall asleep for hours. Not without Darkrai next to him. Not like _this_.

Eventually, though, he started to fall asleep. He fell deep into the void, darker yet darker. He could not hear anything. He could not see anything. He could not feel anything. He was starting to lose his consciousness, and ultimately, his control of himself.

Tobias had forgotten what fear felt like. As a child and teenager, fear was second nature to him, especially after all the nightmares that plagued him. But since Darkrai started helping him, the fear dissipated slowly, and slower as he got more party members to help protect him. He felt uncomfortable every now and then, sure, but he never felt scared. He forgot how powerless fear made him feel.

To be fair, he essentially _was_ powerless in this situation.

He opened his eyes, and found himself in a black room, all by himself. There was no one there, nothing else there, aside from Tobias and his thoughts. He recognized this room. This was the room he dreamed of as a kid. This was the room that isolated and bound him to a life of waking up screaming and barely staying awake throughout the day.

And now, he was back. The room began to close, its walls tightening around its victim, constricting and trapping him. Tobias began to scream and call out as the walls grew sharp spikes that pressed into him, but nobody came.

A door appeared in front of him. He opened it, and found Darkrai standing there. A wave of relief came over him - everything was going to be okay, he was safe now! But as soon as he reached out, a clear wall preventing his hand from reaching further, and fog started to emerge. He couldn’t see Darkrai anymore, but he heard breathy whispers - no, more like breathy _screams_ \- Darkrai’s screams - as if they were screaming out for help, and Tobias couldn’t help them. Tobias screamed out back, begging for it to stop, begging for everything to be okay.

His screams continued as he shot up from the bed, drenched in cold sweat. He was lying in what was probably the most uncomfortable position possible. His breathing was strained, loud and erratic. He took sharp inhales in and no exhales out. His arms clutched the blankets around him, wrapping around him roughly and he then wrapped his arms around his legs, pulling into a ball and sobbing loudly with no hold back (probably waking up the others staying in the hotel). He was scared. He hadn’t felt scared in so long, but he was so, so scared. Darkrai wasn’t there, and deep down, Tobias knew they weren’t coming back. He had no one to help him, and nothing could stop the pain.

He didn’t go back to sleep.

The sun arose, eventually, around 15 minute after he calmed down a bit. He felt empty. Like something was missing from him, deep inside. He wanted them back, so bad, more than anything.

He was almost surprised by how much he was being affected by this. Him, the strongest trainer in the League, shouting at people and breaking down crying? It seemed implausible. He thought he was tougher than this, stronger, and less fragile to react so intensely to heartache. It must have been painful (or even embarrassing) for others to see.

He must have zoned out, at one point, as his mind drifted into nothingness. It was probably from the fatigue. Eventually, Tobias came to and soon realized where he was. The Pokemon Center Hotel. It took him a while to get grounded, and remember the specifics. He was in the Pokemon Center, it was 6am in the morning on June 10th, 20XX. He was safe. He was well. That relieved him. He began to wonder why he was so upset.

And then he remembered.

He shoved the blankets off of him, and ran out the door of his hotel room, not even taking a moment to check over his appearance or gather any of his belongings. He wasn’t a runner by any means, but he dashed past the other rooms, and the receptionist’s desk. Reaching the desk of the Pokemon Center, he ran up to the nurse, bringing his hands onto the table roughly.

“How are they, Nurse Joy?” he asked in a raspy voice. “My Darkrai?”

A moment of silence hovered over the two, and Nurse Joy’s face turned somber. That was _not_ a good sign.

The nurse eventually broke the silence by admitting quietly. 

“There was nothing we could have done. I’m so sorry.”

Tobias could swear he heard something shatter. Something broke deep inside of him. The reality hit him. Darkrai was dead. He could not bring them back, no matter what he did. They were gone, and he was alone once again, without his partner. Without anyone.

“Can I please see them?” he asked, his voice almost a whisper.

“Yes, you can,” the nurse said gingerly. “Right this way.”

The walk down the hall seemed endless. Tobias’ head was filled with thoughts, not one of them pleasant, but at the same time they all seemed very far away. He knew what was coming. He still, though, didn’t want to face the reality. What would they look like? Would they look genuinely broken and damaged, or would they appear to be simply sleeping? Would medical machines be strapped to them? Would there be white noise? All of these things seemed miniscule, and he didn’t really care about specifics. He just wanted to see them.

Eventually, they reached the door, and Nurse Joy stepped aside, a sympathetic look on her face. “I’ll give you two some space,” she said quietly, motioning towards the door before walking away. “Just come out when you’re ready.”

Tobias opened the door slowly, afraid to look inside and see exactly what he knew he’d see. But he knew he had to. He had to face this, he had to say goodbye as best he could.

There were no more prayers that could be prayed. There were no more words to say. There was nothing - only Tobias, and his fallen Pokemon in front of him. He felt so many things, and was going through the process of grief all at once (sans acceptance, of course). He was angry, he was devastated, he didn’t want to believe it, there must be something he could still do. He felt overwhelmed and underwhelmed at the same time. He wanted so badly to break something, or hurt anyone he thought was at fault. He hated himself, he hated himself for letting this go on for so long, he hated himself for how selfish he was, to deny Darkrai something they _needed_ to survive just to make himself feel better. He was utterly disgusted with himself, and shattered by his loss.

He quietly put his hands on them, and collapsed over them, breaking down and starting to cry again. Unlike before, he was glad no one was there to see. He damned himself, he damned everyone and everything he possibly could. But it didn’t even matter, anymore. Just like that, his friend was gone.

Without a doubt, he would never have a peaceful night again.

**Author's Note:**

> the title of this fic on google docs is ‘why must i willingly inflict suffering’  
> the backup file on my computer is called ‘are you ready for Death™’  
> honestly, i feel both at fitting titles
> 
> also, check out my other Tobias & Darkrai fic plis


End file.
